Fall 2012, In which I prove once again that I am not Superwoman

Dear Long-Forsaken Blog,

I feel like I've been pretty careful in the last few years to not take on too much at any given time. But this fall I got a little carried away. I took a graduate class toward my administrator's license and  I signed on to two heavy-duty committees in my school district.  These duties on top of my already busy full-time job and roles of wife and mother.  Add to this, the Wise and Bearded One's new job in an architecture firm--a new job in which he has increased responsibilities and has been averaging fifty-plus hour weeks.

And it was all too much. Some of my favorite parts of life fell by the wayside.  I did almost no reading for pleasure, almost no crafting, and (obviously) no blogging.

I struggle with being an ambitious career woman while valuing a creative life, a nurturing home, and spiritual/emotional balance.  I've searched for blogs by women who work fulltime outside the home and are involved mothers.  I haven't found one yet.  They probably just don't have the time to blog.  If you find one, let me know. 

I take comfort from conversations with many of my female friends who are in the same place I am---trying to find balance and figuring out when to say "no" and when to say "yes".  I also really appreciated the Atlantic article by Anne-Marie Slaughter that made the rounds of the internet this summer. If you haven't read Why Women Still Can't Have It All, I recommend it.

What's Really Important:



 Things that Happened This Fall that Did Not Get Blogged About:

--Our housemates moved out. We love them and are happy they can finally get their own space and we are glad to stretch out across our whole house again.

--The Sprout got her own room--we repainted and are in the process of making one of the upstairs bedrooms her special place.

--The Wise and Bearded One renovated half of our basement into a work/studio space and play space.  It's almost done.  Happy Dance!  I can't wait to have a space to sew that is somewhere other than the dining room table!

--We now have a guest room/office too.  So, out-of-town friends, come and visit!

--I read several thousand pages about using data for educational decision making, common core curriculum, formative and summative assessment, and evaluation systems for teachers and administrators.  I am not any smarter than when I started.

--We watched four seasons of Sons of Anarchy in quick succession in the evenings after the Sprout went to bed.

What Will Be Different Next Semester:

--The Wise and Bearded One and I have a deal:  Only one of us is allowed to be stressed at a time.  Since his job promises to continue to be extremely busy for the next few months, I will scale back my extra duties
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--Hopefully, that means I will have time to read, to create, to blog.  But I'm not promising anything since I have definitively proven that I am not Superwoman.

Deb

Mother's Day Thoughts

My two-year-old woke me up this morning singing happily as she came up the stairs carrying a gift bag from her papa for me. She couldn't quite remember how to say the "Happy Mother's Day" she had practiced so she told me emphatically to have a "Happy Day." I did.

I treasured this day. After several weeks of feeling...ughh...both physically and emotionally, I feel like I'm on the mend. We went for a walk on the esplanade together and watched boats on the river. We went to Powell's City of Books. We snuggled up together on the couch and read. She said, "I wub you, mama" when she went to bed.

I am learning to treasure these moments of motherhood. They are passing by so quickly. I must remember to mark these days. To feel that wash of unconditional love. To note that this is sacred.

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Here's a four generation photo of me when I was about one and another (below) of the Sprout when she was a baby. When I see these pictures I am reminded that my mother was so young when she had me (more than 10 years younger than I was when I had the Sprout). I am fortunate to have had a loving mother and grandmother and great-grandmother. Although my mom and I have very different personalities and have knocked heads through the years, I have never doubted that she loved me unconditionally. The more I work with kids raised in dysfunctional, emotionally-harmful homes, the more I value the way I was raised---firmly, gently, pushing me forward, yet protecting me. The unconditional love of my mother and the mothers before her is a sacred gift.



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I'm also thinking of women I carry close to my heart who are grieving today. The friend whose mother died this year. The friend whose baby died in childbirth. The multiple friends who have had miscarriages. The women I know who long to be mothers but struggle with infertility or simply can't find a partner who shares their longing.

Especially, I am thinking of my Aunt Esther who will bury her young daughter-in-law who died this week from liver cancer. I am imagining how she, with her own heart breaking, will steady her son Tim as he walks through tomorrow's funeral ceremony. How she, who lost another son in a tragic accident 20 years ago, can see the long dark days of grief ahead for Tim. How she is steeling herself to be strong for him, to comfort him, to walk beside him as he has to make a life for himself entirely different from his dreams and plans with his bride.

And yet I know that she will do it. She will grieve and she will put on fake brave smiles and she will love Tim unconditionally. And that is motherhood and that is sacred.

The Sprout Turns 2!! Part 3

Party day! The Wise and Bearded One kept the adults well supplied with coffee and tea while the Littles bounced from station to station. There was the Play Dough Table, the Coloring/Sticker Wall and the Oh-It's-So-Much-Fun-To-Play-With-Another-Kid's-Toys Area. I thought the Little Ones did a surprisingly good job entertaining themselves and each other. Of course there were some parents helping guide the process.




After about 30 minutes of play, we sang some of the Sprout's favorite songs. Of course, she did take that moment to play shy and refused to sing along even to the Itsy-Bitsy Spider which is a longtime fave. Then we sang "Happy Birthday" and had toddler snacks and cupcakes. It was a lovely little party and just the right length for Miss Sprout to have some fun with no major meltdowns (in other words, it was SHORT).

Happy Birthday, Little Girl!

The Sprout Turns 2!! Part 2

Since organized games and activities are a little much for 2 year olds, I was at a bit of loss as to what the Sprout's party could or should look like. I decided that since they still parallel play and bounce from activity to activity, I would plan for activities that encourage this.

Play dough is a current favorite in our household with the Sprout and the Little Housemate, so it seemed like a no-brainer to have a play dough activity station. Plus I have a weird nostalgic love of the smell of homemade playdough. My mom used to make it for us when we were little so I knew it was a simple process. But I'd never made it myself.

I pulled out a handy-dandy fundraiser cookbook. You know the kind. The ones that churches or schools put together and sell. The ones that contain lots of recipes that rely on cream of chicken soup (yikes). The ones that also contain a smattering of "miscellaneous" recipes in the back like chex mix and homemade dog biscuits and play dough. Yes, play dough.

Here's the recipe I used. I have no idea of the merits of this play dough recipe versus the hundreds of other variations on the internets. But this one is quick and easy and smells satisfyingly of cream of tartar. I made several batches in different colors for the party and then I was having so much fun that I made enough for party favors to take home.

PLAY DOUGH

1 cup flour

1/2 cup salt

2 teaspoons cream of tartar

1 cup water

2 tablespoons vegetable oil

food coloring

Mix the dry ingredients together in a saucepan and then add the wet ingredients. Cook over medium heat stirring constantly until dough forms into a ball. Turn onto a flat surface and knead for a few minutes. Let cool. Store in a cool, dry place.

Play.

Thanks to the Angels on High Preschool in Muncie, Indiana for their cookbook and recipe.(Seriously, who wouldn't send their kid to a preschool with that name!?) My dear friend and college roommate is the director of this preschool and she is a fabulous cook who only occasionally uses cream of chicken soup.

The Sprout Turns 2!! Part 1

It's hard to believe but my beloved daughter turned two this week. It seems such a short period of time since she was just a baby. And now she is a long-legged, long-haired little girl with her own intense opinions and interests.

I spent most of my spare moments the last two weeks planning and preparing for a little birthday party for some of our two and three-year-old friends.

The first task was choosing a theme. Every party needs a theme, right? I know that in just another short period of time, the Sprout will be requesting a Pink Princess Party or a Purple Fairy Party, and I’ll have to figure out how to meet her desires without sacrificing my own beliefs in strong women and clean, crisp design. But in the meantime, I have full creative control (Bwah-ha-ha!).

I took my inspiration from Portland and from the Sprout. One of her favorite activities the last few months has been to wear her rain boots and stump through the puddles. Fortunately, the Pacific Northwest provides a sufficient amount of puddles for stumping in!!! So "rain" became the theme.

Here are the party invitations (with all personally-identifiable information kindly erased by the Wise and Bearded One). They ended up looking slightly more Elementary School Art Project than I intended but I am proud of the fact that I used up some of my considerable stash of paper supplies to make them.